Why Dialogue Is Needed Between Swingers and Christians

Swingers and Christians Can Work Things Out By Talking

So why are swingers, particularly those who claim the name of Christ, unable to work things out with their Christian critics?

Here's the problem, as I see it, in a nutshell:

Many Christian swingers are not Bible experts. Therefore, they oftentimes find themselves intimidated and ill-equipped when defending their alternative lifestyle against the onslaught of the moral majority. Many of those who do know a thing or two about proper biblical exegesis and hermeneutics are cowering in the closet. Most swingers that I know of don't want to risk losing friends, family, or perhaps even a job by letting the details of their frowned-upon lifestyle out of the bag. This is especially true of swingers espousing Christianity.

If a person is a Bible expert, and a swinger, and a prominent member of the Christian community, he may fear the repercussions of unveiling his sediments to his church group. Some Christian swingers that I've talked to over the years don't "really" believe that swinging has the stamp of approval from the Man Upstairs. Nevertheless, they swing anyway because it's pleasurable and exciting. Perhaps they feel that as a Christian, they are saved from all that hellfire and brimstone stuff.

Actually, this used to describe me. But then I started to think... and study. Then, the wheels started turning. After putting two and two together, here is what I now conclude: Yes, cheating on one's spouse is a flagrant violation of trust; that is a no-brainer. Nevertheless, there is a huge difference between having an extramarital affair without your mate's knowledge and permission verses having extramarital sex with the knowledge and permission of your significant other. This should also be a no-brainer. Most swingers do have the knowledge and consent of their significant other. Therefore, most swingers do not regard swinging as cheating.

Oh Baby, What About Unwanted Babies?

Another chief concern among critics of swinging is that unwanted babies might be born outside of wedlock. This is and should be a concern for swingers and non-swingers alike. However, most studies indicate that most swingers take proper precautions. Also, let's not forget that birth control is a relatively recent innovation. The pill and propylactics were not available during the period when the Bible was canonized. Most swingers don't go to a swing party to make babies. It's recreational sex, pure and simple.

But doesn't the Bible say something negative about engaging in orgies? Yes. Don't some swingers engage in orgies? Yes. But we shouldn't rip things out of their historical context. This is the Bible's chief concern: The Bible mainly disapproved of orgies because they were used as a means of worshipping false gods and goddesses.

So what happened when unwanted love children were born as a result? No problem. Sacrifice them to the gods. My point is - and I do have one - is that comparing orgies as recorded in the Bible with orgies that take place at swing clubs is probably not comparing apples with apples. Most swingers do not go to swing parties to worship the Mighty Aphrodite or the Goddess Asherah; they go there to have a fun time.

What About AIDS and STDs?

Of course, Christians and non-Christians alike should be concerned about the threat of AIDS and other STDs. But from what I've read, these things are very rare in the swinging community. The bottom line is this: The Bible says nothing about swinging, one way or the other. And if it is possible to have a good time at a swing party and simultaneously love your neighbor without doing any harm, then why would God object? A God who makes rules without reasons is not a loving God; He is a Cosmic Killjoy. I do not believe God is a Cosmic Killjoy.

My Position on Swinging

My position is that swinging per se is neither moral nor immoral; it is amoral. It can be practiced ethically in the 21st Century. Swinging can be practiced in a way that is responsible, beneficial, and uplifting to significant relationships. Swinging can also be practiced in a manner that is irresponsible, destructive, and damaging to significant relationships; it simply depends on a wide variety of pertinent factors that have bearing on the ethical equation at hand. What I mean is this: I have no doubt that many people go to swing clubs to cheat on their spouse or significant other without their knowledge and consent. Most Christians would agree that this is not a good thing. So would most swingers. I also have no doubt that some swingers engage in risky behavior that could result in sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Most Christians would agree that this also is not wise. So would most swingers. Several studies also demonstrate that the average swinger is much happier and is more fulfilled in their marriage than the average non-swinger.

Nevertheless, most Christians would probably not even bother to take this evidence into consideration. And if they did, they would probably say something like, "So what? Swinging is still a sin!" They would probably quote passages of Scripture such as "Don't commit adultery" or "Flee fornication" to support their position. As a Christian, I also believe one should not commit adultery. I also believe that one should flee fornication. But I also believe there is massive widespread confusion regarding what these terms mean and why they are wrong. I believe that a Christian can engage in the Swinging Lifestyle without violating the will of God, simultaneously deriving many positive benefits as well.

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